Deadlier · Than · the · Male

I decided to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by having the next step in my marathon of oral surgery. I just love that happy little care sheet explaining that it’s perfectly normal to experience “some discomfort” after this procedure. I’ll say. After first having the entire front section of my upper gums (from canine to canine) cut away from the bone and hauled up like a curtain to reveal a tiny play starring the roots of my teeth, enduring two hours of drilling, scraping, x-rays, more drilling with consecutively larger and larger bits, the insertion of the enormous “roots” of the implants into the pair of gaping manholes in my jawbone and finally the closing of the bloody curtain with sutures, I think “some discomfort” is the fucking understatement of the century.

This was step 2. Step 3 will be adding another segment of the implants, the part that will screw into the fake teeth. Step 4 will be the pretty new teeth.

I’m gonna go have another popsicle…