I just had a surreal lunch with my friend Lisa. Lisa (aka Hotwheels because of her wheelchair) finally got her hubby’s car tricked out with hand controls so she’s been a lot more independent lately and wanted to get out of the house and go out for lunch. I’m working way too hard and figured I needed a short break from the grind, so I agreed. She picked me up and we headed over to my favorite local Vietnamese joint.

The Viet joint is jumping, as usual, and when we pull into the lot there’s a crowd of hipster fucksticks standing in the handicapped spot. Lisa pulls up and motions for them to step out of the way and one of them asks, in the most supercilious tone possible, “Are you handicapped?”

No, genius, this handicapped license plate and the wheelchair in the passenger seat are just for decoration.

So after shaming and herding the fucksticks out of our way, we go in and get a table. Once we settle in and order, I notice a pregnant woman in a tight black dress standing by the door, presumably waiting for a table. There’s something really weird about her belly. It’s very low and almost square. When she hugs it lovingly, it crumples. I point her out to Lisa and we realize that the pregnant belly is fake, a particularly unrealistic fake at that.

We are amused and speculate on why she is pretending to be pregnant, but are soon distracted by our delicious food. The fake pregnant chick goes to wait outside with her friends, the hipster fucksticks.

Several minutes later, the faker returns with a second woman, a taller brunette wearing the exact same black dress and also sporting a fake pregnant belly. They say they aren’t waiting for a table, they "just want to use the bathroom” and promptly disappear together.

We are baffled. This is bizarre even for Silver Lake. We figured some kind of film shoot or play must be involved. As annoyed as I often get with my fellow Silverlaquenos, I must admit, there’s never a dull moment.