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Sexy Fill-in-the-Blank

Happy Dress-Like-A-Slut day, everybody. Once again the day has come to be bemused and baffled by the choices that straight girls make on this, the only night they are allowed to dress like shameless hos.

It’s still very weird to me that something like “Dominatrix,” which is a normal, ordinary part of my year-round life, is a costume option for squares. But I’ve also seen “Sexy Punk Girl,” “Sexy Goth” and even “Sexy Asian” costumes (usually modeled by a standard issue Caucasian Cali-blonde) so obviously I’m not alone.

Have you all got your tramp costumes picked out for tonight? If not allow me to provide some last minute inspiration.

(It’s easy. Just put the word “sexy” in front of any costume idea.)

Sexy Godzilla
Sexy Fishmonger
Sexy Undocumented Sweatshop Worker
Sexy Amoeba
Sexy Stephen Hawking
Sexy IT Consultant
Sexy Jehovah’s Witness
Sexy Bag Lady
Sexy Great White Shark

I hope it's not too late to order this for my “Sexy Allan Guthrie” costume…


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 31st, 2008 05:43 pm (UTC)
I'm dressing as a zombie schoolgirl but with a skirt that actually covers my ass, no bare midriff, and no massive cleavage. I suppose some people might find that sexy.
Oct. 31st, 2008 05:52 pm (UTC)
"...with a skirt that actually covers my ass"

WHAT?!?!? That's just plain unfair.
Oct. 31st, 2008 06:00 pm (UTC)

I'll try to walk past as many sources of gusting air as possible.
Oct. 31st, 2008 05:51 pm (UTC)
I'll be wearing my sexy reclusive writer costume. Very similar to my sexy invisible man costume.
Oct. 31st, 2008 05:56 pm (UTC)

[copyright The Onion, 2001]

I already posted that in the comments of Nick Kaufmann's halloween entry, which has a link to even more ill-advised SF costumery.

I'm going as a Sexy Top Ramen packet!
Oct. 31st, 2008 06:12 pm (UTC)
Sexy FLDS Sister Wife!
Oct. 31st, 2008 06:51 pm (UTC)
I actually told people this year in my party invite:

"Slut is not a costume.
Goth is not a costume.
Friends don't let friends dress like The Crow."
Oct. 31st, 2008 07:53 pm (UTC)
Friends don't let friends dress like The Crow.

Oct. 31st, 2008 07:32 pm (UTC)
You forgot my 2008 Mardi Gras costume, Sexy Nixon.

Oct. 31st, 2008 10:05 pm (UTC)
How 'bout Sexy DMV employee
Maybe my mother was right about me having a rebellious nature (OK, mom said "pain in the ass"). I read this and the first thing I thought was "oh yeah, well if 'sexy' is the vogue costuming theme, I'm going to do something different." So now I'm thinking:

Unsexy librarian?
Unsexy beer wench?
Unsexy French maid?
Unsexy Catholic school girl?

Oct. 31st, 2008 10:09 pm (UTC)
Sorry Christa - I had lunch with Al today and I am afraid he had beaten you to the Sexy Scottish Dancewear Fever costume. He looked cute in the little tartan skirt but he really should have shaved first.
Oct. 31st, 2008 10:32 pm (UTC)
I sincerely hope he was wearing something under that particular kilt or else all of Edinburgh would have gotten an unwanted eyeful.
Nov. 1st, 2008 01:54 am (UTC)
Luckily it was very, very cold.

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )