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Transporter 3

Delivered in spades in the shirtless Jason Statham department, including a scene in which his latest mush-mouthed female “package” forces him to perform a strip-tease for her. (Unfortunately, it was only PG 13, so no batch-flapping.) Otherwise it was unsurprisingly awful. The wooden, useless female lead demonstrates how cute and sexy she is by getting smashed on pills and vodka, falling off her heels and pissing on the floor of a gas station market. Sure, that’s fine if you’re into drunk chicks pissing, but unlike the director, that’s never been one of my personal fetishes. Never mind the mostly tepid, predictable chases, the laughably over-the-top escapes and the repeated use of the hated jittercam for every fight scene. I liked that they got him back in the car for this one and the idea of a bracelet that blows up if he gets farther than 75 feet from the car, but as hot as Statham may be, the end result ultimately left me cold.

But hey, any excuse to use my Statham icon.



( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 30th, 2008 05:15 pm (UTC)
Batch-flapping is my new favorite word.
Dec. 1st, 2008 12:07 am (UTC)
Seconding JD on batch-flapping.

It's easily the least of the three, but it did the job. I'm with you about the female lead, who at least prompted my favorite line from a movie review this year: "although (she) is Russian, her range is such that she makes a very unconvincing Ukrainian." Ouch.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )